if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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