evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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