Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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