How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
