areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
