HIV tests are more positive than that guy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
