Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
