you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
