And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize