Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
this hospital has no fireball
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
