Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
