Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize