Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
