I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
