Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize