Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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