The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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