Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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