is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
