My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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