Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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