The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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