is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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