Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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