i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
