:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
