a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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