"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
