im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
