I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
