everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
mondays should just be called national damage control day
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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