he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
