Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He? As in you personified your dick?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
