he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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