Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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