I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
