Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize