Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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