): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
