hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
