I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
