wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
