his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
