Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
