you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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