yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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