i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
