If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize