I hate all girls vehemently.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
