hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
