I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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