I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
