i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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