too bad you live with your parents still
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
