yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
