Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Shame - the story of my life.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
