I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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