Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
