You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
