I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
