I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
