Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
