too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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